Our lives are filled with changes, challenges, and situations that can knock us off our feet. While we may wish for constant peace and stability, this isn’t always possible. Every day, we may have to face difficult, stressful situations, and sometimes even situations when we feel threatened. In moments like these, physiological reactions occur in our bodies, which are responsible for arousal and the urge to take action: to fight, flee, or freeze.

While these reactions are appropriate and designed to help us survive in situations where our health or life is at risk, they can sometimes block an appropriate and conscious response to everyday life stressors.

A difficult conversation with a boss, a public speaking engagement, or returning a product at a shop aren’t situations where our lives are in danger, but sometimes the physiological reactions we experience in those situations are similar to those we would experience by coming face-to-face with a bear on a mountain trail.

How can you cope with stress on a daily basis?

In this article, I’d like to explain the concept of optimal, excessive, and insufficient arousal in response to stress, which will help you better observe and identify your own reactions.

I will also suggest a simple exercise that, by engaging your body, helps restore optimal arousal, enabling you to move away from automatic reactions and to engage in a conscious response to the situation at hand.

I have borrowed this technique, called grounding, from the work of Pat Ogden and Peter Levine, renowned clinicians specialising in trauma therapy. The technique is recommended for working with symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, and chronic stress reactions. Maybe you could find it helpful as well.

Excessive arousal

Rapid breathing, rapid heartbeat, tense muscles, or cold hands - these are physiological sensations that can arise in situations of high arousal, which is the autonomic nervous system's response to threat. This reaction prepares the body for fight or flight, to help us survive. When there’s a real threat, this reaction is appropriate, but it can also occur when there is no direct threat. Have you ever experienced these physiological symptoms in a situation that can be described as challenging or stressful?

Stress can be problematic

I mentioned examples like a difficult conversation with a boss, public speaking, or complaining about a product, but now I’d like you to think of a situation that you’ve experienced. At times like these, we may find it difficult to think logically and to express ourselves because our brains are directing all of their energy to mobilise survival responses. Thoughts such as "I won't be able to handle it" or "What should I do?!" and intense emotions like fear, anger, or panic may arise.

The problem arises when this reaction persists long after the difficult situation has ended, such as bodily sensations lingering long after an unpleasant conversation with a boss. This can lead to sleep problems or difficulties concentrating.

Imagine how challenging it is to function on a ship during a storm, and even more so if the storm lasts throughout the entire voyage. Excessive arousal is like a storm for our bodies. If this state occurs frequently and lasts for a long time, it can make it hard for you to live your daily life, and you may want to consider consulting a specialist in such cases.

Insufficient arousal

You may be familiar with the "playing dead" response, often observed in animals, where the victim, attacked by a predator, lies motionless on the ground. Sometimes, this is the only reaction that can save a life.

We also react in this way in life-threatening situations where neither fight or flight is possible. Again, while this reaction may be helpful in certain situations, if it lasts too long, its effects can make it hard for you to function.

Going back to the analogy with the sea, imagine a ship getting stuck on a sandbank - in a situation like this, a tugboat or a whole rescue operation is often needed. With insufficient arousal, we may be cut off from our internal resources that could help us get through a difficult situation. In such cases, working with a psychotherapist who carefully helps us access those resources at our own pace can be helpful.

Optimal arousal

In this state, our physiological reactions change gently, and our brain and body function harmoniously. The gentle and soothing waves give us a sense of stability and security. We have access to our internal resources, and when faced with a difficult situation, we can draw on them or be ready to seek help from others.

This is a state where we feel focused, connected with our bodies, and aware of our emotions. It’s not about experiencing optimal arousal permanently. That’s impossible because there will always be situations that trigger excessive or insufficient arousal. But the goal is not to get stuck in those states. The grounding technique I'm going to describe below lets you quickly return to the optimal level of arousal.

You can first read the text below, then read it again and perform the exercise. Sometimes, while you’re concentrating on the sensations from your body, you might feel overwhelmed and upset. If you feel any form of discomfort while doing this exercise, simply stop doing it. You can always come back to it later or do a variation of the exercise, which is described below.

Feel the ground beneath your feet

You can perform this exercise now while reading this article or later at a time that's comfortable for you. It's important to familiarise yourself with the exercise beforehand and try it out before using it in a moment of intense arousal. This way, you can assess your feelings before, during, and after the exercise and decide if it's something you want to use for regulating arousal during stress.

Before you begin

First, take note of your thoughts, emotions, and any bodily sensations you’re experiencing at this moment and write them down. There are no right or wrong answers here. The goal is to observe without judgment or evaluation. It may be difficult to write something down or nothing may come up—don't attach any deeper meaning to it; it's just how it is. Note that if you think, "I don't know what to write" or "I'm not thinking about anything right now," that’s already a thought you can write down. Take a moment to observe this, and then proceed to the first step of the exercise.

Exercise procedure

Find a comfortable position that allows the soles of your feet to touch the ground. You can sit, stand, or even lie down. It's important that your feet make contact with the ground. Take a moment to find that position.
If it’s comfortable for you, press one foot slightly harder against the ground and then return to the initial pressure after a while. You can repeat this movement several times. Then, in the same way, press the other foot against the ground and again return to the initial pressure after a while. Next, if you wish, press both feet harder against the ground and release the pressure after a while.
While repeating these movements, pay attention to the sensations in your feet, legs, and even your back. With curiosity, observe what happens in your body when you apply more pressure to your left foot, when you do the same with your right foot, and when you do it with both at the same time.
As I write this, I'm doing the exercise myself and noticing that when I press my feet against the ground, the muscles in my thighs tense, and when I release the pressure, they relax. Maybe you’ll notice something similar. You may also notice that the other muscles in your body are behaving in a similar way. You might become aware of other sensations as well. It's also possible that you won't notice any particular sensations, and that's okay too.
Give yourself as much time as you need to do this exercise. If you prefer a time frame, it can be one to three minutes.

After the exercise:

Go back to your notes. Write down what thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations you notice now. Make sure you make an observation without analysing or judging. Write down the first thing that comes to mind, and remember—if nothing comes up, that's also okay.

Variations:

I mentioned earlier that discomfort or overwhelm can arise during exercises focused on bodily sensations. In this case, you can do the exercise without steps 3 and 4.

Another variation of grounding is mindful walking. Take a few steps, focusing on placing and lifting your feet from the ground with mindfulness. You can make your stride longer and slow down your pace slightly to gradually shift the weight of your body.

It's completely natural for your steps to be somewhat unsteady. Finally, stand still and press your feet against the ground several times, paying attention to how your feet make contact with the ground. You don't have to pay attention to your bodily sensations, but you can do so if it feels comfortable.

Practice to act effectively in the moment

If your experience after doing this exercise is positive or neutral, try applying it when you notice excessive or insufficient arousal in response to a challenging event. It's not guaranteed that doing the exercise once will always bring you back to optimal arousal quickly.

Firstly, there may still be situations where it's difficult for you to stop the automatic reactions of your autonomic nervous system.

Secondly, to reinforce the pattern of this new reaction, it needs to be consistently repeated. You can do this exercise from time to time, even when you’re in a state of optimal arousal. You can do it while waiting in line at the cash register, before a work meeting, after returning home from a walk, or before going to sleep.

Remember that while self-help articles or books can help you with excessive or insufficient arousal, sometimes the most effective approach is to collaborate with a specialist who can accompany you on this journey, providing professional knowledge, experience, and ensuring your safety.

Bibliography:

Ogden, P., Fisher, J. Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Interventions for Trauma and Attachment (2015).
Levine, P. A., Frederick, A. Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (2012).
Levine, P. A. In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness (2020).
Rothschild, B. The Body Remembers: Revolutionizing Trauma Treatment. Volume 2 (2021).